Most disastrous Recipe?

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I tried a key lime custard recipe that separated so that I ended up with basically a sweet quiche. It was so eggy that it was gross.
 
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The first cookie recipe I tried :p The whole thing was such a mess... I was supposed to be baking ''butter cookies'', but instead I got a tray with a uniform pasty layer! A total fiasco!
 
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I attempted walnut and chocolate chunk blondies the other day, but the egg separated from the rest, forming a meringue-like topping which I broke off to eat on its own, and a greasy, sugary mess underneath with the consistency of flapjacks. :(
 
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I was trying to teach my girlfriend how to bake and skipped the proofing the yeast step only to find out that the yeast was dead. I got rock hard bread and she teased me about it for the rest of the day saying things like "I could whip this outside at the tree and it'd leave a dent in it" or "Dude these things are harder than the table!" and then proceed to knock the table a bit with them.
 
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My first few attempts at biscuts were a joy to my young boys. They always resembled small baseballs and were totally unedible. The boys took them outside with their bat and played ball towards the woods with them. Hope no poor little birdies tried to eat them, lol.
 
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I was trying to teach my girlfriend how to bake and skipped the proofing the yeast step only to find out that the yeast was dead. I got rock hard bread and she teased me about it for the rest of the day saying things like "I could whip this outside at the tree and it'd leave a dent in it" or "Dude these things are harder than the table!" and then proceed to knock the table a bit with them.

I know the feeling. I once completely forgot the yeast when making some Parker House rolls and ended up with hockey pucks. The yeast packet was sitting on the counter under a cookbook and I found it later when I was cleaning up.
 
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I just did not have a clue what I was doing and messed my first few attempts up royally. But I kept on diligently trying to make good biscuts until one day they were actually good. Still get teased about the "biscut baseballs"...
 
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Every time I make no bake cookies they come out a gooey glob. For whatever reason they never firm up like they're supposed to. At least they still taste good, even if you have to eat them with a spoon.
 
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We tried a medieval cream tart recipe that we thought would taste like custard, but because it had barely any sugar it ended up tasting like scrambled eggs paste. We had to throw them out.
 
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I have a recipe that I love, called franks and noodles. Its really yummy. It calls for 1/4 cup of lemon juice, but once I put in 1 cup of lemon juice!!!! It was so lemony and tart, it was gross....we had to throw it away
 
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The doozies I have done.... but I look at it this way, I learned what NOT to do next time! LOL.
I did a yeast bread, forgot one of the packs of yeast, and it turned out so hard I could break a window with it.
So bummed because it was going to go with our stew for dinner!
 
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I have had so many recipe disasters that it's hard to pick just one! LOL There were the biscuits that my dad called "hockey pucks", and the pie crust that would bounce on the counter! But I think my favorite disaster story was the time I tried to make a gooseberry pie. I didn't know that you are supposed to add salt to cut the sourness of the berries. I just kept adding more and more sugar! That pie probably had 5 cups of sugar in it and still would make you pucker! :rolleyes:
 
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I made a big tray of homemade mac and cheese, and I had spent quite a bit on the cheese itself to go in it. The dish would have been just fine, but we had some people stop over our house shortly before we were planning on eating, so we had to leave everything in the oven to keep it warm until they finally left. During that time, the mac and cheese got way too overcooked and turned into a giant brick. It was a complete loss.

Another time I had tried this recipe from Barefoot Contessa for some roasted vegetables with orzo tossed in a vinaigrette. It came out awful, not to mention the recipe made way more than I would have been able to eat on my own. The worst part was the vinaigrette itself, which made the whole dish taste like vomit.
 
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My most disastrous recipe ever was a Garlic Soup that my father said to love but not haven eaten for long, long years. So that I thought that cooking garlic soup for his birthday was a good idea.

This is a Spanish cuisine recipe that started bad since the moment I had to break an egg on top of the soup at the serving time and the yolk collapsed.

My father said, "don't worry, mounting the eggs is just matter of the presentation, but what does matter is the taste..."

However such taste was like hell. Not having cooked that recipe before nor tried it before the serving day, I made the mistake to misread the ingredients, which were all fine except for the garlic.

I read literally "5 garlics" when it should be 5 garlic cloves. There was no way to fix the fire recipe nor my embarrassment :oops:
 

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