Sneaky Stealer

[xwolfiex13x]

I'm 19 and I live with my parents. Currently my half brother, his girlfriend, their 3 year old, and their baby are living at my house. The 3 year old is very sneaky and whenever I am baking, I catch her sneaking around. Her parents don't really watch her that well and she is always getting away with things and getting into things so she's a bit rowdy. I have left the kitchen and come back to one of whatever i'm making and evidence that she's the one who took it (usually chocolate on her face). It worries me because I've caught her trying to take something else off the counter that's raw or even frozen. I honestly don't really trust her enough to include her in my baking, even to stir, because she doesn't like to listen. What I am curious about, is how can I stop her from doing this? I've tried talking to her and explaining that it isn't nice to take things without asking and that some of the stuff could make her sick. I've tried to move the things closer to the middle of the counter. I've tried giving her a little smack on the butt (sorry to anyone who doesn't agree with that method). She doesn't seem to want to listen. I know that she's smart enough because I've taught her almost all 50 states on a map (she can't even really read yet so it's pretty impressive to me) It's just really bothersome and unfair to me because I have no real experience with children and then a 3 year old with extremely bad, bad manners is thrown into my living space.

What do I do?

 

[Josie]

She's sorting out her world and at this point memorizing facts is quite different than understanding the very confusing socially acceptable behaviours and the ones that are not and keeping them straight when there are such slight variations that can change them completely lol. Toddlerhood is when they realize they aren't an extension of their parents, but their own real person with access to nothing but new information and things and experiences and they have an affect on it as much as it does on them. They aren't born knowing anything.. it's up to the adults to keep modelling the behaviour they want the child to adopt and pointing out the natural consequences to our actions. It doesn't take just one time.. they're totally and completely new to life and most adults don't have it down completely.. no toddler should be expected to figure it out before they've even fully learned their own language yet lol. They have SO much to learn all at once.. it takes so much patience from us to help them through it.

I won't tell you how to handle it; I don't believe in punishment and most parents do.. but when it comes to baking and you have the patience for it? Letting her help and making it super fun for her will give her something to focus on and something to learn through and to respect you for. Giving kids your attention and the very best side of you is the best learning tool any of them could ask for from the adults in their lives. The more respect and time they're given, without punishment, is where the respect and good behaviour is learned.. it doesn't just appear because we want it to or because we've said it many times. All children can learn.. if they aren't getting it, it's not their fault, it means we have to think of another way to teach them. Unfortunately, if her parents aren't paying much attention to what she does, she's going to have an extra hard time with it all.

Best of luck

 

[KindKitty]

I agree with Josie that that kids are very curious and love to push boundaries when they can, but when it's someone else's kid it's hard to tell explain to them if the parents are more liberal shall we say. We had a Christmas present bought for us a few years back which was chocolate chili's, thing was only one was chili and the rest where chocolate. Long story short- I got the chili one, only realizing this after 15 seconds or so; long enough to give our 3 year old daughter the other half. She was fine after a bit of sticking her tongue out, but it put her off the chocolates for a while. Just saying.

 

[xwolfiex13x]

Thank you so much! I need all the luck I can get. It's so hard to try to understand what's going on when I've never really been exposed to it. She is also going to have an extra extra hard time! This morning when her mom was trying to get her to be quiet because the baby was sleeping, she called her mom an idiot and got away with it! I guess I have to be the one to try to help her learn(along with my mom of course) because everyone else lets her get away with things. I guess it's like training a dog. If one person lets the dog do something undesirable, it's going to continue unless you work extra hard and keep your ground.
Thanks again!

 

[OhioTom76]

No offense, but shouldn't her mom be watching her and not you? I would explain to her and your brother that they need to be watching and raising their own kids. She may very well be curious and want to see what you're doing, and that's perfectly cute and innocent and all, even though it's a hassle for you - but the point is, her parents should be the ones keeping her occupied. At the very least, you are getting some early training in what it's going to be like having kids, should you choose to have some kids of your own, lol.